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#!/usr/bin/perl -p
# B1FF filter.
# Copyright 1999 by Joey Hess under the terms of the GNU GPL.
# I use an array, not a hash. because order is important.
@trans_table=(
'\bEVERYONE\b' => 'EVRY 1',
'\bEVERYBODY\b' => 'EVRY BUDY',
'\bEVERY\b' => 'EVRY',
'\bONE\b' => '1',
'\bAND\b' => '+',
'\bYOU' => 'U',
'\bITS\b' => 'IT"S',
'\bIT\'S\b' => 'ITS',
'\bIS\b' => 'IZ',
'\bLINUX\b' => 'LINUS',
'\bUNIX\b' => 'THE MANEFRA1M O/S',
'\bWINDOWS\b' => 'WINDOWZ (IT RULEZ MAN!)',
'\bYOU\'RE\b' => 'YOUR',
'\bTHEM\b' => 'THUM',
'\bHERE\b' => 'HERE',
'\bTHEY\'RE\b' => 'THE1R',
'\bTHEIR\b' => 'THERE',
'\bWAS\b' => 'WUZ',
'\bMACINTOSH\b' => 'IMAC', # too 90's?
'\bVERY\b' => 'TOTALLY',
'\bCOMPUTER\b' => 'VIC-20',
'\bWHETHER\b' => 'WHETHUR',
'\b(?:H|CR)ACKER\b' => 'KEWL HACKER D00D!',
'\bOF\b' => 'UV',
'\bGNU\b' => 'NEW',
'\bQUITE\b' => 'REAL',
'\bFREE\b' => 'FREE!',
'HOME' => 'HUM',
'COME' => 'CUM',
'MICRO' => 'MIKRO',
'GOVERN' => 'GUVERN',
'PERSON' => 'D00D',
'SOME' => 'SUM',
'WRITE' => 'RITE',
'REAL' => 'REEL',
'LITE' => 'L1TE',
'BIAN' => 'B1AN',
'TION' => 'SHUN',
'FOR' => '4',
'TO' => '2',
'ATE' => '8',
'\b2TALLY\b' => 'TOTALY', # fix from line above
'LL' => 'L',
'OO' => '00',
'MATE' => 'M8',
'ER' => 'UR',
'S+\b' => 'Z',
'KN' => 'N',
'IE' => 'EI',
);
$_=uc;
s/;/,/g;
s/'//g;
while (@trans_table) {
$key=shift @trans_table;
$value=shift @trans_table;
s/$key/$value/g;
}
s/(\!+)/$1.make_exclimation()/eg;
s/(\?+)/$1.make_question()/eg;
s/I/rand 3 > 2 ? '1' : 'I'/eg; # change 1/3 of I's to 1's
@punct=('.','!',',');
s/\. /. /g;
s/\./$punct[int(rand 3)]/eg;
s/\,/./g;
# b1ff can't hold down on shift too well!!!!!!!1!
sub make_exclimation {
my $length=shift || int(rand 5);
my $ret='!';
my $last=0;
for (1..$length) {
if (! $last && int(rand 3) eq 2) {
$ret.="1";
$last=1;
}
else {
$ret.="!";
$last=0;
}
}
return $ret;
}
# ask questions excitedly?!?!?!?!
sub make_question {
my $length=shift || int(rand 5) + 1;
my $ret='';
my $last=0;
while (length($ret) < $length) {
if (! $last && int(rand 5) > 2) {
$ret.="?!";
$last=1;
}
elsif (! $last && int(rand 5) > 3) {
$ret.="?1";
$last=1;
}
else {
$ret.="?";
$last=0;
}
}
return $ret;
}
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