5
__copyright__ = 'this file is in the public domain'
6
__thnx__ = 'thnx to snore for this one'
8
from gozerbot.commands import cmnds
9
from gozerbot.examples import examples
10
from gozerbot.plughelp import plughelp
11
from gozerbot.tests import tests
13
import os, string, random
15
plughelp.add('wisdom', 'show some wisdom')
19
motivation = ['booo', ]
25
excuses = excusestxt.splitlines()
26
matrix = matrixtxt.splitlines()
27
motivation = motivationtxt.splitlines()
30
def handle_matrix(bot, ievent):
31
""" get a matrix quote """
32
rand = random.randint(1,len(matrix))
33
ievent.reply(matrix[rand-1].strip())
35
def handle_excuse(bot, ievent):
37
rand = random.randint(1,len(excuses))
38
ievent.reply(excuses[rand-1].strip())
40
def handle_motivation(bot, ievent):
42
rand = random.randint(1,len(motivation))
43
ievent.reply(motivation[rand-1].strip())
46
cmnds.add('matrix', handle_matrix, 'USER')
47
examples.add('matrix', 'get a matrix quote', 'matrix')
49
cmnds.add('excuse', handle_excuse, 'USER')
50
examples.add('excuse', 'get an excuse', 'excuse')
52
cmnds.add('motivation', handle_motivation, 'USER')
53
examples.add('motivation', 'get motivated', 'motivation')
54
tests.add('motivation')
59
electromagnetic radiation from satellite debris
60
static from nylon underwear
61
static from plastic slide rules
63
poor power conditioning
66
hardware stress fractures
67
magnetic interferance from money/credit cards
68
dry joints on cable plug
69
we're waiting for [the phone company] to fix that line
70
sounds like a Windows problem, try calling Microsoft support
71
temporary routing anomoly
72
somebody was calculating pi on the server
73
fat electrons in the lines
74
excess surge protection
75
floating point processor overflow
77
POSIX complience problem
78
monitor resolution too high
79
improperly oriented keyboard
80
network packets travelling uphill (use a carrier pigeon)
81
Decreasing electron flux
82
first Saturday after first full moon in Winter
85
It works the way the Wang did, what's the problem
86
positron router malfunction
87
cellular telephone interference
89
pizeo-electric interference
92
dynamic software linking table corrupted
93
heavy gravity fluctuation, move computer to floor rapidly
94
secretary plugged hairdryer into UPS
96
not enough memory, go get system upgrade
97
interrupt configuration error
98
spaghetti cable cause packet failure
99
boss forgot system password
100
bank holiday - system operating credits not recharged
101
virus attack, luser responsible
102
waste water tank overflowed onto computer
103
Complete Transient Lockout
104
bad ether in the cables
106
Change in Earth's rotational speed
107
Cosmic ray particles crashed through the hard disk platter
108
Smell from unhygenic janitorial staff wrecked the tape heads
109
Little hamster in running wheel had coronary; waiting for replacement to be Fedexed from Wyoming
110
Evil dogs hypnotized the night shift
111
Plumber mistook routing panel for decorative wall fixture
112
Electricians made popcorn in the power supply
113
Groundskeepers stole the root password
114
high pressure system failure
115
failed trials, system needs redesigned
116
system has been recalled
117
not approved by the FCC
118
need to wrap system in aluminum foil to fix problem
119
not properly grounded, please bury computer
120
CPU needs recalibration
121
system needs to be rebooted
123
descramble code needed from software company
124
only available on a need to know basis
125
knot in cables caused data stream to become twisted and kinked
126
nesting roaches shorted out the ether cable
127
The file system is full of it
131
There isn't any problem
132
Unoptimized hard drive
134
Yes, yes, its called a desgin limitation
135
Look, buddy: Windows 3.1 IS A General Protection Fault.
136
That's a great computer you have there; have you considered how it would work as a BSD machine?
137
Please excuse me, I have to circuit an AC line through my head to get this database working.
138
Yeah, yo mama dresses you funny and you need a mouse to delete files.
139
Support staff hung over, send aspirin and come back LATER.
140
Someone is standing on the ethernet cable, causeing a kink in the cable
141
Windows 95 undocumented "feature"
143
Password is too complex to decrypt
144
Boss' kid fucked up the machine
145
Electromagnetic energy loss
147
Mouse chewed through power cable
148
Stale file handle (next time use Tupperware(tm)!)
149
Feature not yet implimented
152
Vendor no longer supports the product
153
Small animal kamikaze attack on power supplies
154
The vendor put the bug there.
158
Power company testing new voltage spike (creation) equipment
159
operators on strike due to broken coffee machine
160
backup tape overwritten with copy of system manager's favourite CD
161
UPS interrupted the server's power
162
The electrician didn't know what the yellow cable was so he yanked the ethernet out.
163
The keyboard isn't plugged in
164
The air conditioning water supply pipe ruptured over the machine room
165
The electricity substation in the car park blew up.
166
The rolling stones concert down the road caused a brown out
167
The salesman drove over the CPU board.
168
The monitor is plugged into the serial port
169
Root nameservers are out of sync
170
electro-magnetic pulses from French above ground nuke testing.
171
your keyboard's space bar is generating spurious keycodes.
172
the real ttys became pseudo ttys and vice-versa.
173
the printer thinks its a router.
174
the router thinks its a printer.
175
evil hackers from Serbia.
176
we just switched to FDDI.
177
halon system went off and killed the operators.
178
because Bill Gates is a Jehovah's witness and so nothing can work on St. Swithin's day.
179
user to computer ratio too high.
180
user to computer ration too low.
181
we just switched to Sprint.
184
Power Company having EMP problems with their reactor
185
The ring needs another token
187
telnet: Unable to connect to remote host: Connection refused
188
SCSI Chain overterminated
190
because of network lag due to too many people playing deathmatch
191
You put the disk in upside down.
192
Daemons loose in system.
193
User was distributing pornography on server; system seized by FBI.
194
BNC (brain not (user brain not connected)
195
UBNC (user brain not connected)
196
LBNC (luser brain not connected)
197
disks spinning backwards - toggle the hemisphere jumper.
198
new guy cross-connected phone lines with ac power bus.
199
had to use hammer to free stuck disk drive heads.
200
Too few computrons available.
201
Flat tire on station wagon with tapes. ("Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurling down the highway" Andrew S. Tanenbaum)
202
Communications satellite used by the military for star wars.
203
Party-bug in the Aloha protocol.
204
Insert coin for new game
205
Dew on the telephone lines.
206
Arcserve crashed the server again.
207
Some one needed the powerstrip, so they pulled the switch plug.
208
My pony-tail hit the on/off switch on the power strip.
209
Big to little endian conversion error
210
You can tune a file system, but you can't tune a fish (from most tunefs man pages)
212
Zombie processes haunting the computer
213
Incorrect time syncronization
216
non-redundant fan failure
219
no "any" key on keyboard
223
excessive collisions & not enough packet ambulances
224
le0: no carrier: transceiver cable problem?
225
broadcast packets on wrong frequency
226
popper unable to process jumbo kernel
227
NOTICE: alloc: /dev/null: filesystem full
228
pseudo-user on a pseudo-terminal
229
Recursive traversal of loopback mount points
232
vapors from evaporating sticky-note adhesives
234
short leg on process table
235
multicasts on broken packets
238
endothermal recalibration
239
filesystem not big enough for Jumbo Kernel Patch
240
loop found in loop in redundant loopback
241
system consumed all the paper for paging
243
Reformatting Page. Wait...
244
..disk or the processor is on fire.
246
Proprietary Information.
247
Just type 'mv * /dev/null'.
248
runaway cat on system.
249
Did you pay the new Support Fee?
250
We only support a 1200 bps connection.
251
We only support a 28000 bps connection.
252
Me no internet, only janitor, me just wax floors.
253
I'm sorry a pentium won't do, you need an SGI to connect with us.
254
Post-it Note Sludge leaked into the monitor.
255
the curls in your keyboard cord are losing electricity.
256
The monitor needs another box of pixels.
258
kernel panic: write-only-memory (/dev/wom0) capacity exceeded.
259
Write-only-memory subsystem too slow for this machine. Contact your local dealer.
260
Just pick up the phone and give modem connect sounds. "Well you said we should get more lines so we don't have voice lines."
261
Quantum dynamics are affecting the transistors
262
Police are examining all internet packets in the search for a narco-net-traficer
263
We are currently trying a new concept of using a live mouse. Unfortuantely, one has yet to survive being hooked up to the computer.....please bear with us.
264
Your mail is being routed through Germany ... and they're censoring us.
265
Only people with names beginning with 'A' are getting mail this week (a la Microsoft)
266
We didn't pay the Internet bill and it's been cut off.
268
Of course it doesn't work. We've performed a software upgrade.
269
Change your language to Finnish.
270
Flourescent lights are generating negative ions. If turning them off doesn't work, take them out and put tin foil on the ends.
271
High nuclear activity in your area.
272
What office are you in? Oh, that one. Did you know that your building was built over the universities first nuclear research site? And wow, are'nt you the lucky one, your office is right over where the core is buried!
273
The MGs ran out of gas.
274
The UPS doesn't have a battery backup.
275
Recursivity. Call back if it happens again.
276
Someone thought The Big Red Button was a light switch.
277
The mainframe needs to rest. It's getting old, you know.
278
I'm not sure. Try calling the Internet's head office -- it's in the book.
279
The lines are all busy (busied out, that is -- why let them in to begin with?).
280
Jan 9 16:41:27 huber su: 'su root' succeeded for .... on /dev/pts/1
281
It's those computer people in X {city of world}. They keep stuffing things up.
282
A star wars satellite accidently blew up the WAN.
283
Fatal error right in front of screen
284
That function is not currently supported, but Bill Gates assures us it will be featured in the next upgrade.
285
wrong polarity of neutron flow
286
Lusers learning curve appears to be fractal
287
We had to turn off that service to comply with the CDA Bill.
288
Ionisation from the air-conditioning
289
TCP/IP UDP alarm threshold is set too low.
290
Someone is broadcasting pigmy packets and the router dosn't know how to deal with them.
291
The new frame relay network hasn't bedded down the software loop transmitter yet.
292
Fanout dropping voltage too much, try cutting some of those little traces
293
Plate voltage too low on demodulator tube
294
You did wha... oh _dear_....
295
CPU needs bearings repacked
296
Too many little pins on CPU confusing it, bend back and forth until 10-20% are neatly removed. Do _not_ leave metal bits visible!
297
_Rosin_ core solder? But...
298
Software uses US measurements, but the OS is in metric...
299
The computer fletely, mouse and all.
300
Your cat tried to eat the mouse.
301
The Borg tried to assimilate your system. Resistance is futile.
302
It must have been the lightning storm we had (yesterdy) (last week) (last month)
303
Due to Federal Budget problems we have been forced to cut back on the number of users able to access the system at one time. (namely none allowed....)
304
Too much radiation coming from the soil.
305
Unfortunately we have run out of bits/bytes/whatever. Don't worry, the next supply will be coming next week.
306
Program load too heavy for processor to lift.
307
Processes running slowly due to weak power supply
308
Our ISP is having {switching,routing,SMDS,frame relay} problems
309
We've run out of licenses
310
Interference from lunar radiation
311
Standing room only on the bus.
312
You need to install an RTFM interface.
313
That would be because the software doesn't work.
314
That's easy to fix, but I can't be bothered.
315
Someone's tie is caught in the printer, and if anything else gets printed, he'll be in it too.
316
We're upgrading /dev/null
317
The Usenet news is out of date
318
Our POP server was kidnapped by a weasel.
319
It's stuck in the Web.
320
Your modem doesn't speak English.
322
All of the packets are empty.
323
The UPS is on strike.
324
Neutrino overload on the nameserver
326
Someone has messed up the kernel pointers
327
The kernel license has expired
329
The cord jumped over and hit the power switch.
330
It was OK before you touched it.
333
Your Flux Capacitor has gone bad.
334
The Dilithium Cyrstals need to be rotated.
335
The static electricity routing is acting up...
336
Traceroute says that there is a routing problem in the backbone. It's not our problem.
337
The co-locator cannot verify the frame-relay gateway to the ISDN server.
338
High altitude condensation from U.S.A.F prototype aircraft has contaminated the primary subnet mask. Turn off your computer for 9 days to avoid damaging it.
339
Lawn mower blade in your fan need sharpening
340
Electrons on a bender
341
Telecommunications is upgrading.
342
Telecommunications is downgrading.
343
Telecommunications is downshifting.
344
Hard drive sleeping. Let it wake up on it's own...
345
Interference between the keyboard and the chair.
346
The CPU has shifted, and become decentralized.
347
Due to the CDA, we no longer have a root account.
348
We ran out of dial tone and we're and waiting for the phone company to deliver another bottle.
349
You must've hit the wrong anykey.
351
The Token fell out of the ring. Call us when you find it.
352
The hardware bus needs a new token.
354
Not enough interrupts
355
The data on your hard drive is out of balance.
356
Digital Manipulator exceeding velocity parameters
357
appears to be a Slow/Narrow SCSI-0 Interface problem
358
microelectronic Riemannian curved-space fault in write-only file system
359
fractal radiation jamming the backbone
360
routing problems on the neural net
361
IRQ-problems with the Un-Interruptable-Power-Supply
362
CPU-angle has to be adjusted because of vibrations coming from the nearby road
363
emissions from GSM-phones
364
CD-ROM server needs recalibration
365
firewall needs cooling
366
asynchronous inode failure
367
transient bus protocol violation
368
incompatible bit-registration operators
369
your process is not ISO 9000 compliant
370
You need to upgrade your VESA local bus to a MasterCard local bus.
371
The recent proliferation of Nuclear Testing
372
Elves on strike. (Why do they call EMAG Elf Magic)
373
Internet exceeded Luser level, please wait until a luser logs off before attempting to log back on.
374
Your EMAIL is now being delivered by the USPS.
375
Your computer hasn't been returning all the bits it gets from the Internet.
376
You've been infected by the Telescoping Hubble virus.
377
Scheduled global CPU outage
378
Your Pentium has a heating problem - try cooling it with ice cold water.(Do not turn of your computer, you do not want to cool down the Pentium Chip while he isn't working, do you?)
379
Your processor has processed too many intructions. Turn it off emideately, do not type any commands!!
380
Your packets were eaten by the terminator
381
Your processor does not develop enough heat.
382
We need a licensed electrician to replace the light bulbs in the computer room.
383
The POP server is out of Coke
384
Fiber optics caused gas main leak
385
Server depressed, needs Prozak
388
suboptimal routing experience
389
A plumber is needed, the network drain is clogged
390
50% of the manual is in .pdf readme files
391
the AA battery in the wallclock sends magnetic interference
392
the xy axis in the trackball is coordinated with the summer soltice
393
the butane lighter causes the pincushioning
394
old inkjet cartridges emanate barium-based fumes
395
manager in the cable duct
396
We'll fix that in the next (upgrade, update, patch release, service pack).
397
HTTPD Error 666 : BOFH was here
398
HTTPD Error 4004 : very old Intel cpu - insufficient processing power
399
The ATM board has run out of 10 pound notes. We are having a whip round to refill it, care to contribute ?
400
Network failure - call NBC
401
Having to manually track the satellite.
402
Your/our computer(s) had suffered a memory leak, and we are waiting for them to be topped up.
403
The rubber band broke
404
We're on Token Ring, and it looks like the token got loose.
405
Stray Alpha Particles from memory packaging caused Hard Memory Error on Server.
406
paradigm shift...without a clutch
407
PEBKAC (Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair)
408
The cables are not the same length.
410
Chewing gum on /dev/sd3c
411
Boredom in the Kernel.
412
the daemons! the daemons! the terrible daemons!
413
I'd love to help you -- it's just that the Boss won't let me near the computer.
414
struck by the Good Times virus
415
YOU HAVE AN I/O ERROR -> Incompetent Operator error
416
Your parity check is overdrawn and you're out of cache.
417
Communist revolutionaries taking over the server room and demanding all the computers in the building or they shoot the sysadmin. Poor misguided fools.
418
Plasma conduit breach
419
Out of cards on drive D:
420
Sand fleas eating the Internet cables
421
parallel processors running perpendicular today
422
ATM cell has no roaming feature turned on, notebooks can't connect
423
Webmasters kidnapped by evil cult.
424
Failure to adjust for daylight savings time.
425
Virus transmitted from computer to sysadmins.
426
Virus due to computers having unsafe sex.
427
Incorrectly configured static routes on the corerouters.
428
Forced to support NT servers; sysadmins quit.
429
Suspicious pointer corrupted virtual machine
430
Its the InterNIC's fault.
431
Root name servers corrupted.
432
Budget cuts forced us to sell all the power cords for the servers.
433
Someone hooked the twisted pair wires into the answering machine.
434
Operators killed by year 2000 bug bite.
435
We've picked COBOL as the language of choice.
436
Operators killed when huge stack of backup tapes fell over.
437
Robotic tape changer mistook operator's tie for a backup tape.
438
Someone was smoking in the computer room and set off the halon systems.
439
Your processor has taken a ride to Heaven's Gate on the UFO behind Hale-Bopp's comet.
441
Dyslexics retyping hosts file on servers
442
The Internet is being scanned for viruses.
443
Your computer's union contract is set to expire at midnight.
445
/dev/clue was linked to /dev/null
446
Increased sunspot activity.
447
We already sent around a notice about that.
448
It's union rules. There's nothing we can do about it. Sorry.
449
Interferance from the Van Allen Belt.
450
Jupiter is aligned with Mars.
452
Mail server hit by UniSpammer.
453
T-1's congested due to porn traffic to the news server.
454
Data for intranet got routed through the extranet and landed on the internet.
455
We are a 100% Microsoft Shop.
456
We are Microsoft. What you are experiencing is not a problem; it is an undocumented feature.
457
Sales staff sold a product we don't offer.
458
Secretary sent chain letter to all 5000 employees.
459
Sysadmin didn't hear pager go off due to loud music from bar-room speakers.
460
Sysadmin accidentally destroyed pager with a large hammer.
461
Sysadmins unavailable because they are in a meeting talking about why they are unavailable so much.
462
Bad cafeteria food landed all the sysadmins in the hospital.
463
Route flapping at the NAP.
464
Computers under water due to SYN flooding.
465
The vulcan-death-grip ping has been applied.
466
Electrical conduits in machine room are melting.
467
Traffic jam on the Information Superhighway.
468
Radial Telemetry Infiltration
469
Cow-tippers tipped a cow onto the server.
470
tachyon emissions overloading the system
471
Maintence window broken
472
We're out of slots on the server
473
Computer room being moved. Our systems are down for the weekend.
474
Sysadmins busy fighting SPAM.
475
Repeated reboots of the system failed to solve problem
476
Feature was not beta tested
477
Domain controler not responding
478
Someone else stole your IP address, call the Internet detectives!
479
It's not RFC-822 compliant.
480
operation failed because: there is no message for this error (#1014)
482
internet is needed to catch the etherbunny
483
network down, IP packets delivered via UPS
484
Firmware update in the coffee machine
486
Mouse has out-of-cheese-error
487
Borg implants are failing
488
Borg nanites have infested the server
489
error: one bad user found in front of screen
490
Please state the nature of the technical emergency
491
Internet shut down due to maintainance
492
Daemon escaped from pentagram
493
crop circles in the corn shell
494
sticky bit has come loose
495
Hot Java has gone cold
496
Cache miss - please take better aim next time
497
Hash table has woodworm
498
Trojan horse ran out of hay
499
Zombie processess detected, machine is haunted.
500
overflow error in /dev/null
501
Browser's cookie is corrupted -- someone's been nibbling on it.
502
Mailer-daemon is busy burning your message in hell.
503
According to Microsoft, it's by design
504
vi needs to be upgraded to vii
505
greenpeace free'd the mallocs
506
Terorists crashed an airplane into the server room, have to remove /bin/laden. (rm -rf /bin/laden)
510
<morpheus> If real is what you can feel, smell, taste and see, then 'real' is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain
511
<morpheus> What are you waiting for? You're faster than this. Don't think you are, know you are. Come on! Stop trying to hit me and hit me!
512
<Morpheus> Unfortunately, no one can be told what the Matrix is. You have to see it for yourself.
513
<morpheus> What you know you can't explain, but you feel it. You've felt it your entire life, that there's something wrong with the world. You don't know what it is, but it's there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad.
514
<morpheus> You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he is expecting to wake up. Ironically, that's not far from the truth.
515
<morpheus> I'm trying to free your mind, Neo. But I can only show you the door. You're the one that has to walk through it.
516
<neo> Why do my eyes hurt? <morpheus> You've never used them before.
517
<morpheus> There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.
518
<neo> What are you trying to tell me? That I can dodge bullets? <morpheus> No, Neo. I'm trying to tell you that when you're ready, you won't have to.
519
<morpheus> The Matrix is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.
520
<morpheus> You've been living in a dream world, Neo.
521
<morpheus> I imagine that right now you're feeling a bit like Alice, tumbling down the rabbit hole.
522
<morpheus> What is "real"? How do you define "real"?
523
<morpheus> Welcome to the desert of the real.
524
<morpheus> You have to let it all go, Neo. Fear, doubt, and disbelief. Free your mind.
525
<neo> Am I dead? <morpheus> Far from it.
526
<morpheus> You are the One, Neo. You see, you may have spent the last few years looking for me, but I have spent my entire life looking for you.
527
<morpheus> This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.
528
<morpheus> I've seen an agent punched through a concrete wall. Men have emptied entire clips at them and hit nothing but air, yet their strength and their speed are still based in a world that is built on rules. Because of that, they will never be as strong or as fast as you can be.
529
<rhineheart> You have a problem with authority, Mr. Anderson.
530
<tank> Hey Mikey I think he likes it.
531
<morpheus> It IS our destiny
532
<agent smith> Never send a human to do a machine's job.
533
<morpheus> Focus, trinity
534
<agent smith> Do you hear that, Mr. Anderson? That is the sound of inevitability
535
<spoon boy> There is no spoon.
536
<tank> So what do you need? Besides a miracle <neo> Guns. Lots of guns.
537
<trinity> Neo... nobody has ever done this before. <neo> I know. That's why it's going to work.
539
<neo> Okey dokey.. free my mind. Right, no problem, free my mind, free my mind, no problem, right...
540
<cypher> Good shit, huh? It's good for two things: degreasing engines and killing brain cells.
541
<cypher> All I see now is blonde, brunette, redhead.
545
Achievement: You can do anything you set your mind to when you have vision, determination, and an endless supply of expendable labor.
546
Adversity: That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable.
547
Agony: Not all pain is gain.
548
Ambition: The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly.
549
Apathy: If we don't take care of the customer,maybe they'll stop bugging us.
550
Arrogance: The best leaders inspire by example. When that's not an option, brute intimidation works pretty well, too.
551
Beauty: If you're attractive enough on the outside, people will forgive you for being irritating to the core.
552
Bitterness: Never be afraid to share your dreams with the world, because there's nothing the world loves more than the taste of really sweet dreams.
553
Blame: The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.
554
Burnout: Attitudes are contagious. Mine might kill you.
555
Change: It's a short trip from riding the waves of change to being torn apart by the jaws of defeat.
556
Change (winds): When the winds of change blow hard enough, the most trivial of things can become deadly projectiles.
557
Cluelessness: There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots.
558
Compromise: Let's agree to respect each others views, no matter how wrong yours may be.
559
Conformity: When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.
560
Consulting: If you're not a part of the solution,there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem.
561
Dare to Slack: When birds fly in the right formation, they need only exert half the effort. Even in nature, teamwork results in collective laziness.
562
Defeat: For every winner, there are dozens of losers. Odds are you're one of them.
563
Delusions: There is no greater joy than soaring high on the wings of your dreams, except maybe the joy of watching a dreamer who has nowhere to land but in the ocean of reality.
564
Demotivation: Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all of the unhappy people.
565
Despair: It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black.
566
Destiny: You were meant for me. Perhaps as a punishment.
567
Discovery: A company that will go to the ends of the Earth for its people will find it can hire them for about 10% of the cost of Americans.
568
Disloyalty: There comes a time when every team must learn to make individual sacrifices.
569
Disservice: It takes months to find a customer, but only seconds to lose one... the good news is that we should run out of them in no time.
570
Do it Later: The early worm is for the birds.
571
Doubt: In the battle between you and the world, bet on the world.
572
Dreams: Dreams are like rainbows. Only idiots chase them.
573
Dysfunction: The only consistent feature in all of your dissatisfying relationships is you.
574
Effort: Hard work never killed anybody, but it is illegal in some places.
575
Elitism: It's lonely at the top, but it's comforting to look down upon everyone at the bottom.
576
Failure: When your best just isn't good enough.
577
Fear: Until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore, you will not know the terror of being forever lost at sea
578
Flattery: If you want to get to the top, prepare to kiss a lot of the bottom.
579
Futility: You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take, and, statistically speaking, 99% of the shots you do.
580
Get To Work: You aren't being paid to believe in the power of your dreams.
581
Goals: It's best to avoid standing directly between a competitive jerk and his goals.
582
Hazards: There is an island of opportunity in the middle of every difficulty. Miss that, though, and you're pretty much doomed.
583
Humiliation: The harder you try, the dumber you look.
584
Idiocy: Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
585
Ignorance: It's amazing how much easier it is for a team to work together when no one has any idea where they're going.
586
Incompetence: When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do.
587
Indifference: It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn't take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face.
588
Individuality: Always remember that you are unique. Just like everybody else.
589
Ineptitude: If you can't learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly.
590
Insanity: It's difficult to comprehend how insane some people can be. Especially when you're insane.
591
Inspiration: Genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99% perspiration, which is why engineers sometimes smell really bad.
592
Intimidation: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent, but you'd be a fool to withhold that from your superiors.
593
Irresponsibility: No single raindrop believes it is to blame for the flood.
594
Laziness: Success is a journey, not a destination. So stop running.
595
Leaders: Leaders are like eagles. We don't have either of them here.
596
Limitations: Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.
597
Loneliness: If you find yourself struggling with loneliness, you're not alone. And yet you are alone. So very alone.
598
Losing: If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.
599
Madness: Madness does not always howl. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "Hey, is there room in your head for one more?"
600
Mediocrity: It takes a lot less time and most people won't notice the difference until it's too late.
601
Meetings: None of us is as dumb as all of us.
602
Misfortune: While good fortune often eludes you, this kind never misses.
603
Mistakes: It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.
604
Motivation: If a pretty poster and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon.
605
Nepotism: We promote family values here - almost as often as we promote family members.
606
Overconfidence: Before you attempt to beat the odds, be sure you could survive the odds beating you.
607
Pessimism: Every dark cloud has a silver lining, but lightning kills hundreds of people each year who are trying to find it.
608
Persistence: It's over, man. Let her go.
609
Planning: Much work remains to be done before we can announce our total failure to make any progress.
610
Potential: Not everyone gets to be an astronaut when they grow up.
611
Power: Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. But it rocks absolutely, too.
612
Pressure: It can turn a lump of coal into a flawless diamond, or an average person into a perfect basketcase.
613
Pretension: The downside of being better than everyone else is that people tend to assume you're pretentious.
614
Problems: No matter how great and destructive your problems may seem now, remember, you've probably only seen the tip of them
615
Procrastination: Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now.
616
Quality: The race for quality has no finish line- so technically, it's more like a death march.
617
Regret: It hurts to admit when you make mistakes - but when they're big enough, the pain only lasts a second
618
Retirement: Because you've given so much of yourself to the Company that you don't have anything left we can use.
619
Risks: If you never try anything new, you'll miss out on many of life's great disappointments.
620
Sacrifice: Your role may be thankless, but if you're willing to give it your all, you just might bring success to those who outlast you.
621
Sacrifice (Temple): All we ask here is that you give us your heart.
622
Strife: As long as we have each other, we'll never run out of problems.
623
Stupidity: Quitters never win, winners never quit, but those who never win AND never quit are idiots.
624
Success: Some people dream of success, while other people live to crush those dreams.
625
Teamwork: A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.
626
Trouble: Luck can't last a lifetime unless you die young.
627
Underachievement: The tallest blade of grass is the first to be cut by the lawnmower.
628
Wishes: When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.
629
Worth: Just because you're necessary doesn't mean you're important.
added
removed
build/lib/gplugs/wisdom.py
